Sylvia is a close friend of mine and we grew up together. She is the eldest of four children and made herself a home – after years of upheavals, moving overseas from Africa. She was abandoned by her family, and decided a change of life could be the answer, so she set up home in faraway Canada.
What makes a home?
What makes a home has been on my mind a lot over the years, living in a household with an extended family. What makes a home is a place that forms the centre of family life, lovingly assembled – a tight, neat nest filled with love and affection for each other. That was what Sylvia had always hoped for as she had a deep love for her family, especially her three siblings and friends. She was a people's person and had an aura that was magnetic. She had helped her mother care for both her younger sisters since birth, and was therefore very protective of them.
The atmosphere at home in a traditional African environment during Sylvia's early years in life was a joyous one, filled with love and laughter as she had always dreamed and hoped for. Sylvia had eventually become the breadwinner of her family at the age of thirty. She worked hard in order to provide for them. Life was good during this time as she booked multiple jobs to make this possible. She also showered her family with lots of gifts, especially her parents. As a teenager, Sylvia had encountered God once in a crusade that was held in her locality. However, she had never truly accepted the Lord, although she was open to the idea. She was caught up in the things of this world.
After several years Sylvia made a decision to go to university. She still lived in the same household as her extended family during this time. This was not an easy decision for her to make as she lost her job in the process. Furthermore, her family slowly began to slip away from her. For the first time in her life she felt a sudden emptiness and longing in her soul, and that was not a good feeling. This was a far cry from what she had envisaged. Her home and family became cold overnight. The place she called home was gone. The hardships started sinking in. No more frequent gifts, no money coming home to the family. Sylvia dramatically became the fourth child. Her family began to despise and loathe her. Sylvia was unprepared for this and was taken aback by the dramatic change in her life.
Sylvia's siblings were now the new favourites in the home and she found herself in a really helpless state. She was in a state of panic and not knowing the way forward. She was numb. As time passed, her younger sisters had suitors and were the new providers for their parents. Sylvia felt abandoned by her family because she couldn’t provide for them anymore. She was lonely and felt broken to the point where she didn’t think she would ever bounce back. More time passed and she suddenly started to have a constant yearning to fill the emptiness and void inside.
She met an old friend one day and shared her predicament. Her friend, who was a Christian, told her about the Lord and witnessed to her. After their encounter Sylvia then felt peace. She began to feel whole again and started going to church. She was not bothered now by the circumstances at home and started living for God. ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand’ (Isaiah 41:10, NIV).
Not very long after that she started courtship with a foreigner from her university. He asked her to marry him and she did. They both went abroad where she continued her studies. Sylvia continued in her faith as she had accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour. In becoming a Christian Sylvia eventually found a purpose for her life. She now attends church with her husband who was already a Christian brother. Sylvia finally found herself a home.
Application
‘Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!’ (Psalm 27:14, NIV). Sylvia waited for the Lord patiently while pruning was taking place in her life. Her cries were finally heard. The Lord blessed her abundantly because she believed. ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’ (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).
When she moved abroad, Sylvia grew deeper in her Christian faith. She spoke about how coming to faith and to church felt like ‘coming home’. When Jesus was speaking to his disciples about the cost of following him, he said ‘foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head’ (Matthew 8:20, NIV). Yet he made his home amongst us – his home was with his disciples, the people he ministered to.
Jesus’ home was found in being at the centre of the father's will. In the presence of God, ‘I and the father are one’ (John 10:30). No matter how large, small or even absent our home is during our time on this planet, our true home is with God, where we become homes ourselves – temples of the Holy Spirit. That in turn points us towards our real destination.
By Khadija Nathan
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