I recently read an article about positive affirmations. The premise was this: we spend a lot of time thinking negative thoughts about ourselves and we need to replace them with life-affirming ones. The article got me thinking about whether there was something in this for Christians and I believe that there is. Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, such as ‘I never do anything right’ or ‘I look a mess’? You may not even realise that you do it but I encourage you to pay closer attention to your mental dialogue. According to the Bible, we have power over our thoughts: ‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’ (2 Corinthians 10:5, emphasis added).
How do we go about doing this? Firstly, ask yourself if the thoughts are from God or from yourself. A thought might be from God if it relates to a sin in your life that you have not dealt with – rather than a negative thought, it could be a prompting from the Holy Spirit to repent from the sin. However, if the thought is about a sin that you have already repented of and dealt with, it is time to let it go and forgive yourself because God has forgiven you. Every time you start to dwell on past sin, remind yourself that: ‘…as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us’ (Psalm 103:12).
Other negative thoughts about yourself probably come from you – or from criticisms you have heard from others. Once you have recognised the thought and its source, search for a Bible verse to counter it. Then repeat this to yourself often – you could even try speaking it out loud as you look in the mirror or writing it on a post-it note and putting it somewhere prominent. Repeat it until it becomes the new dialogue that you listen to, drowning out the negative voices (this may take a while so persevere). Pray and ask God to help you and if you continue to struggle with negativity, ask a Christian friend or your life group to pray too.
With regards to thoughts about physical appearance – ‘I’m fat’, ‘I’m ugly’, ‘I look a mess’ – it is interesting to note that the New Testament seems to place very little importance on how we look. The Old Testament has lots of descriptions about how people looked. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and many other women were described as beautiful, while Saul and David were described as handsome. Some people have more detailed descriptions – we know, for example, that Esau was covered in red hair. In contrast, the New Testament does not include descriptions (the only one I can find is that Zacchaeus was short!). Even Jesus, the most important man to ever walk the earth, is not described. Instead, the Bible tells us that: ‘Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight’ (1 Peter 3:3-4).
Your worth is not based on your physical appearance or how many likes you get for a selfie on Instagram. It is based on who you are in Christ. When you want to criticize your appearance, remind yourself that: ‘…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…’ (Psalm 139:14). God made you the way you are and when you insult yourself, you insult him too.
When my daughter, Esther, was a toddler, I bought her a book called You are Special by Max Lucado. This lovely book tells the story of the Wemmicks – a community of wooden people who spend their time sticking dots and stars on each other. The dots are given if they dislike something about the person, while the star is a sign of approval. Punchinello, the central character, feels very negative about himself as he is covered in dots. Then one day he meets a Wemmick who has no dots or stars. Other Wemmicks try to stick them to her but they fall off. She directs Punchinello to visit Eli, the carpenter who made them. Eli explains that he made Punchinello and that he doesn’t make mistakes. He tells Punchinello that the dots only stick if you let them – when Punchinello starts to care more about what Eli thinks about him than anyone else the dots start to fall off. The same is true for us – let us be interested only in what our God and Creator thinks of us. He made you the way he wants you – and he doesn’t make mistakes!
Through prayer and Scripture, let us change the conversation and learn to see ourselves the way God sees us.
I leave you with this verse from Romans 2:12: ‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’
By Lindsay Jacobs
Helpful Verses
I can’t do it – ‘ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’ (Philippians 4:13, NKJV).
I’m a bad person – ‘…there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’ (Romans 8:1).
I’m useless – ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ (2 Corinthians 12:9).
I’m worthless – ‘Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows’ (Luke 12:6-7).
I’m ugly – ‘For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well’ (Psalm 139:13–14).